First Birthday!

I (of course), was way too busy with birthday stuff to post on my son's actual birthday (last Wednesday), but just had to update y'all.  On his birthday we spent the day doing J's favorite things. My husband, J and I went to the park, chased him, played with his ball, ate his favorite food and he had his first cupcake. My goal was to hold him and take as many pictures as I could. For on the day he was born I wasn't allowed to hold him for long and don't have the proverbial picture of mother holding baby, while on the hospital bed right after birth-BUT I digress.
It was truly an emotional day, I can't believe I am now a mother to a one year old, I have a toddler, I survived the first year! A year that I probably couldn't have gotten through without the support of my loving, understanding husband, my parents, and close friends. I have a special thanks to my Mommy group, who I feel so close to  and truly cherish them. Love you ladies!
It's been a surreal year, it went by so fast and I can't wait to see what else is coming-although I confess I don't want my baby to grow up.
Anyway, last saturday we had his birthday party and it was awesome-sauce! It was a lot of work but I loved how it turned out. As I had mentioned before it was dragon themed. I am so grateful to the people who helped us celebrate and share this very special day for my miracle baby. However, I think the dragon party deserves a post of it own so stay tuned for that. Happy birthday to my dragon-bear (yes a week later), once again and I can't wait to continue this journey.

 Fun at the park!

 I cherish every hold :)

Daddy is the best!

Cupcake YUMMY!!

 My whole world :)

Gender roles, stereotypes and double standards

A conversation at work about the roles of man and women got me thinking and inspired this post.  A male coworker mentioned that there seem to be a dichotomy in the train of thought in some "self-proclaimed" independent women he knew. They were all about "not needing a man" yet would  always asked him to carry something heavy for them because he was a man and strong. So, it got me thinking...is there a double standard when it comes to gender roles?

For example, if a man asked a woman to clean up, organize etc at work because she was better at it since she was a woman people would probably label that as him applying a gender role and stereotyping. However, if a woman asked a man to help her with something heavy or to go do a "heavy job" at the office and he was offended or denied to do it, people (and perhaps more women than men) would call that rude, that he wasn’t a team player and/or overreacting.  Isn’t this considered a double standard? When did it become acceptable to apply male gender roles but not female ones? Why is it that society readily accepts men stereotypes and gender roles? Is it because they are deemed “oppressive?” Is it because men are still the “power” gender and thus cannot be seen as being picked on? Where do we draw the line of “respect” and “considerate” to “stereotype?” In the name of equality is being considerate lost?

I hope not, and I don’t think so. I plan to raise my son to open doors for people, offer his seat to the elderly, pregnant women, etc., help carry boxes and yes offer to pay for dinner. However, if I have girl I plan to do the same. I was raised to be self-sufficient, to never expect a man to buy me anything (because they always want something in return my mom would tell me, but I digress), and the only expectation to have out of a relationship was respect and love not money. 

Ultimately, I hope that my child does the above things because it’s the polite, respectful and considerate thing to do not because of his gender. 

What do you all think?  Are men being stereotyped? Do any men out there feel like they are being stereotyped? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below. 

Until next time, deuces y’all. 

First year and party planning

My little one is almost 1 and typing that makes me want to cry. I find myself looking party stuff  to celebrate his birthday and I cannot believe it has been a year (almost). A year ago  I was still pregnant, wondering what my little dragon would look like, now I'm begging for time to stop because I cannot believe this little baby running around (yes running, he's walking already) is the same baby I held in my arms and was afraid to break in the hospital. I want a pause button but of course time just keeps moving forward and he's going to keep growing..

So I must get my act together and PLAN his darn party! Of course I had to go and choose the hardest out there, "dragons." He's my dragon-bear and I figured since the baby shower was bears, his first birthday would be dragons. Why is it so difficult to find stuff? Or is it me? I have to admit planning a party with a baby is not as easy as when I would plan my niece's birthday parties. AND the fact that the more I plan the more real it gets that he is getting older. One thing I am having a hard time deciding are party favors.. To give or not to give?  Ah motherhood, I would never had thought that would be one of my hardest decisions. Wish me luck! I'm going to need it. 

How to Practice Self-Compassion

If you started to read this entry with the hopes of getting a step-by-step guide on how to self-love-I'm sorry I misled you. See one of my new year's resolution was to be more self-compassionate, to love myself more. Like any other new year's resolution-it was abandoned a long time ago and yes I am aware we are only four months into the year. In my defense my new year's resolutions have not been my priority because my physical health was taking its toll on me in February. However, now recovered it's time to focus on my mental health. I realize that my self-appreciation is slim to none. For example, I went to the nail salon this past weekend, sans baby to "treat" myself, yet t it felt anything but. The whole time I was wondering if what I was doing was "worth" the money I was spending. I really meant-was I worth it to spend money on me. That's when it hit me. I have to stop. Why do I feel I'm not worth it? It's a simple luxury, an event we don't think twice about and here I was having a mental war about it the whole time I was there. I do that every time I think about buying anything for myself...
I don't take "time" for myself, because I don't have time to "waste" like that. I don't even look in a mirror.  It's actually quite sad. I'm glad I don't have a little girl because I wouldn't  want her learning this from me-that's she not worth her own time.
I have been aware of this problem but it just seems like my self-deprecating view is getting worst. When I DO look in the mirror I have such a dysmorphic view that perhaps that's why I don't bother with them. I am aware of the problem now how do I fix it?
How do I become more forgiving of myself, more compassionate and allow myself to enjoy life? I'm not sure, like I said this not the post with steps that lead to "eternal happiness." All I know is that it  can't stay like this. I 'm tired of making myself second to everything, and I notice that even loved ones treat me that way too and it's because I allow it. After all people treat you the way you treat yourself and if I don't make me a priority why should others?

Time flies and I stay behind

Where have I been? I should've been posting about my attempts to follow through with my resolutions, and complaining about this and that and how I can't believe we are practically half way through the third month of this year, blah blah, blah. (which is true, time is flying-but I digress). Unfortunately, I was in the hospital last month. It all "started" late January, little pain here, little pain there. Extreme pain here, soreness there. Then, pain will not cease,  I start throwing up one night, and bam end up in the emergency room. I'm thinking they'll give me something for the pain, follow-up with primary doctor, and life goes on. NOPE, I need surgery. My gallbladder is swollen, I have gallstones. Ok, easy surgery no big deal, will be home in a day or same day. But like anything with me, it's not so simple. I end up with an infection, blocked ducts and liver issues. My one day stay turns into 8 days, two surgical procedures and a very SLOW recovery. If my life were a movie, the tagline would be "why does it have to be so complicated?" The worst part of it all I  miss time away from my son. I miss his first Valentine's day, his six month birthday, I miss many firsts, his first fruit, etc. Eight days of not being with my son, and then once home, two more weeks of not caring for him. Not being able to hold and comfort him after getting his immunizations... February pretty much sucked.
I'm still recovering physically, emotionally and mentally (not to mention we are recovering financially) and February is a distant memory... and I can't help but think "it's only March?!" Ah perception, it's a funny thing..
Until next time, "deuces y'all" ;)