I cried last night, don't ask me why

I cried last night, don't ask me why.
Was it because the emptiness seemed to engulf me?
Was it because I missed someone?
Was it because I am overly emotional and I need to stop watching sentimental shows?
I cried last night, don't ask me why.
Was it because I realize that I'm back at square one?
Was it because I have no job or prospects?
Was it because this country is slowly tumbling down like the roman empire?
I cried last night, don't ask me why.
For it could have been all of these things and none of this things,
and I just don't know why.
All I know is that I cried last night.

The new scapegoats: Latinos

Didn’t think I would be writing another blog so soon. But as always CNN’s Carol Costello, FB statuses and the responds to those posts has made my blood boil. I am so sick of people’s ignorance. Seriously, if there was any doubt that our education system has failed, please look at those replies. Some people are so uninformed and ignorant, which wouldn't be so bad I suppose except they tend to attack people with their ignorance.  So again for people in the cheap seats. LATINOS does NOT equate ALL  Mexicans. LATINOS does NOT equate all undocumented people, (“illegals”). It is not the fault of undocumented workers that this country is a recession. It’s the fault of big corporate America with their tax breaks, government bailouts and two wars.  Undocumented workers did NOT take your jobs, they are doing the jobs you (and I for that matter) WOULDN'T do. And do NOT come at me with that crap that if those jobs would pay more people would take those jobs because then people would complain about prices going up on produce and the like. I’ve said it once I’ll say it again, STOP SCAPEGOATING. Things will only change if we ACT.  Write to your congress representatives, call, visit, DEMAND that they stop trying to lie to us and manipulate us away from the truth. That we demand change for the BETTER and that we wont accept SCAPEGOATING any longer. Do the same with the media who fuel lies, and sensationalize the truth. go out there and VOTE, and/or educate others about the REAL issues and the importance of voting. It is only when we take a stand, together against injustice, against corruption that OUR country will get better.

Carol Costello CNN

Why do we have to be so complicated?

It’s no surprise that we tend to overcomplicate relationships. Although many believe relationships are and should be complicated, that is not the case. We need to look at it objectively. With our girlfriends we tend to communicate every detail of our lives, tell them what we like and what we don’t like. If we have issue with them, we bring it up on how much that is hurting us, etc. However, when we get in a romantic relationship we tend to botch this type of communication. We want them to “know” how we feel. That he (or she) “should” know how that made us feel without ever telling them, because if they loved us, they will just “know.” Our friends love us, and we don’t assume they should know how we feel so why the sudden change with a romantic partner?

Which brings me to another point, I tend to be picky with my friendships. I tend to keep friends who are friends, loyal, kind, loving, supportive, respectful; and I believe most people look for that in friends. So why is it that the bar lowers when looking for a romantic partner? If standards are so high for friendships shouldn’t those standards be the same if not higher for a romantic relationship?

I am not an expert in relationships; I’m not even married, (which seems to be the epitome of successful relationships to some), but I do know this, that a relationship should enhance our life not bring it down or be our whole life. I once was told some very good advice, “it’s not about following your heart or following your brain, it should be about listening to both and adding your gut.” If all three are in concurrence then we won’t be steered wrong.

A Tale of Three Cities

For the last year and half I have been a nomad. I don't really have a stable home. My time has been split up between three cities, Los Angeles, Long Beach, and San Diego. I probably spent more time in my car than anywhere else. "I have no home" I complained. I have felt like a guest in my "own" home, and felt like I didn't quite fit in anywhere. Now that I don't travel to San Diego I thought things would be simpler. But, I miss San Diego, I miss the drives down there (sometimes) and mainly I miss the people. I met the most wonderful set of people, all with their unique personalities and wonderful ideas and opinions. As "corny" as it sounds I became attached to my group of people and they took part of of my heart. Los Angeles of course has my family (the one I was born into and my chosen one), and I love being near them, yet I long for my other home; I ache when Long Beach tugs at my heart. If "home is where the heart is," then my heart is split in three. It's a tale of three cities and although it's definitely not tragic as Dickens "Tale" it does leave one to ponder, "Where is home?"

It's been a year..

It's been a year since I decided to go to school in San Diego. I had plans to get a job there and move there. Of course, life never goes according to plan. I didn't move, but I don't regret it (although I do admit I regret the commute), for I realize had I moved I wouldn't have been here during my family's time of need. This is especially true with what happened a week ago. My father had a stroke and I cannot imagine not being by his side right now.
I am reminded of how time flies now, and although I still feel like a teen sometimes (I don't know what that says about me, but you can be the judge of that), I realize I am an adult, I am older, and so are my parents. I am more aware of their mortality and the thought terrifies me. Perhaps, it is morbid to think this way, to think that my parents will die that it is just a matter of time.. but I do think about it.
I always said death wasn't to be feared, it was just another process of life, another step, even a release to those who were suffering. But as I grow "older" my thoughts now go to those left behind, and so I ask how do we reconcile the fact that we all have to die one day, with the fact we don't want to lose our loved ones?